By Audrey: Love is a four letter word, whether you are in it, falling into it or recovering from it, it’s not easy! Yes, it’s chemical, yes, it’s emotional but what is it really all about? We all feel it, that feeling of “What is life with love?”, not only the love and companionship between two people, but the love of yourself, that is what must come first and this creates a reflection of the universe declaring that you are worthy of true love! Self love is the magnet in which we draw to us true and romantic love.
L is for Listening, Listening to our inner voice when it tells you you are worthy to receive true and lasting love. Not just the love of another person, but the love you feel for yourself. That awesome feeling that you get when you accomplish something great that makes you beam with pride and validates how unbelievably awesome you truly are. This self confidence allows you to feel secure within yourself so that you can be completely open to listen to what your partner has to say in the relationship. Listening to your partner is the number one way to show you respect them, value what they have to say and make sure they feel heard and appreciated.
O is for Obstacles, Obstacles real or perceived, that erode our self love and then in turn our love relationships. Some of these obstacles, for example, could be intimacy issues or financial goals not yet met, in life there are so many obstacles and discussing how to overcome these obstacles not only affirms your bond with your partner but creates a sense of accomplishment and togetherness. Once a plan you’ve created together is successful, with this technique your victories are one shared accomplishment.
V for Vulnerability, this is a hard one, showing you’re feeling vulnerable to your partner is a big risk, but this can have big rewards. Expressing this emotion can tell you so much about your partner, from how they react and offer their understanding. If they listen and offer help, they have true intentions for a long term relationship and you can rest assured they have your back on all emotional fronts. This leads to the validation of your feelings and the feelings of your loved one that’s not always said in words. They can be shown through small gestures of kindness that are thoughtful and genuine. The grand gesture of kindness is a technique best used on special occasions that way its grandness is intact and remains extra special for you and your partner.
E is for Equality, Only the love of equals is the most empowering of all loves. More often than not relationships have one person that takes control, making the decisions, pulling the strings and manipulating the emotions. A love if equals allows a couple to be in a true partnership moving ahead in life together. This also allows a shared sense of accomplishment, one milestone at a time. One instance of Equality is in the area is joint financial control this is one technique that is very successful in the reduction of arguments in a relationship, once you’ve established a joint living situation, you should sit down with your partner and discuss financial arrangements and make a clear cut plan without involving past discretions in this area, this discussion is about the future and should be a positive and bonding experience. Another example is equality as it pertains to intimacy, not simply love making, but real connection in this part of the relationship, again establishing an open discussion about your needs and really listening to what your partner wants in this important part of the relationship.
I’d like to take a moment and address those of us who are recovering or are feeling suspended in love, if you’ve never felt any connection in your most recent relationship as it pertains to L.O.V.E. it might be time to focus on self love, listening to your own needs, overcoming those obstacles you feel can help you onto the right path towards love, validate your feelings with reason, past experience and self reflection, equality in every aspect of your life from health to romance and the finance, create a plan for balance that makes you feel peaceful and accomplished.
Being in love with yourself is a valuable tool for living a happy life, the forever love with someone else will come in time and often when you least expect it! Being in love is a lot of hard work, but if you’re honest and remember Listening, Obstacles, Validation, and most importantly Equality you can have a happy and successful love life full of joy and wonderment!
Love and Light,