By Esther: Hi Folks, I am sure most of you have heard the term ‘HE IS JUST THAT NOT INTO YOU” but I would like to point out that this type of behaviour is not done by men only. Dr. Ian Kerner wrote a counter-part book for the ladies called ‘BE HONEST – YOU ARE NOT THAT INTO HIM EITHER”. In that title is some Golden Words – BE HONEST! – don’t lead another person on, nor waste their time or even your own.
So what are the signs that someone is Not That Into You?
Re on – listed below:
First – Clue – He/She is always busy
Unless you are a medical in intern who works 80 hours per week, nobody is that busy ALL THE TIME. If someone you are dating seems to be busy every time you call them or try to make a plan with them, then there’s something not quite right. Either they’re trying to avoid you or you are WAY Down in their priority list or even this person could be in another relationship. If this individual truly likes you, they would make time for you. If not! Then something else will always be more important than being with you.
Second Clue – The Ex-factor
If your ‘person of interest’ talks about their ex unceasingly, on how they miss them or even if it’s about how bad the relationship was, it means that he or she has still not moved on and is emotionally hooked to their past at some level . There is no future with this individual because he/she is still stuck in the past. It is possible that this individual maybe be using you as a distraction.
Third Clue – Off-On communication
When someone is taking two days to reply to your text and when you try asking them the reason, they act like everything in the world is alright and that you’re over thinking, you may want to re-consider this relationship. Don’t keep accepting the excuse that they missed your call or didn’t see your message, etc. If a person really likes you, they try and keep the communication strong; they’re scared of losing you.
Fourth Clue – The Conversations you have with each other are hardly meaningful
Meaningful conversation allows you into their world, their life. Therefore, making themselves vulnerable. A person who doesn’t see any potential in the relationship will be not interested in your life nor will they be willing to expose their life to you. There are no significant conversations because they have it in their mind that this won’t last long, so why put in so much effort.
Fifth Clue – Their Body Language.
When someone doesn’t make eye contact while talking, doesn’t laugh at your jokes, has their torso facing away from you or generally maintains a distance then their body, this person is telling you loud and clear that they’re not that attracted to you.
Sixth Clue – They are ‘not ready for commitment’
The person you are dating keeps suggesting that they’re not ready for a relationship, or he/she is building their career or even just trying to focus on themselves; only means that they don’t want to give you any hopes and lead you on. If they don’t want to commit, but also want to keep you ‘around’ maybe just as an option, then you need to stop settling and wasting your time, unless you’re a no-commitment person too.
Seventh Clue – Do not go out public with you or announce your relationship with them to their nearest and dearest.
He/She does not date you out in a public place. It is a case of your place or mine? This is what is referred to as a Closet Relationship.
Also, there is no sign of you or your relationship on any of their social media, along with a failure to acknowledge being with you in public. This individual always tries to keep you away from their friends and family even after this person has been in your life for a while.
Eighth Clue – You exist only after midnight
Do you try to get in touch with this individual all day but only hear from them later at night and it’s usually a case of ‘your place or mine?’ or something similar, which looms around sexual interest? A person who calls you only when they are physically needy, then it’s obvious where you stand with them, don’t expect any serious progress. This is not even a relationship, but a Booty Call only.
Ninth Clue – You Hear Excuses Constantly.
All you hear from this person is a lot of excuses on why he/she didn’t call when they said they would, or why they cancelled last minute, or why they didn’t take you to their office party. This appears to be the norm in this relationship and they expect you to be okay with it. Do yourself a favour and stop buying all the excuses and you cancel this relationship – refuse to be strung along like this.
Final Clue – You Feel Constantly Confused on where you Stand with this Relationship.
You have been giving this person the benefit of the doubt, making excuses for them and reassuring yourself that it’s all in your head. When you are with a person who gives you mixed signals, you will always find yourself confused and wondering, going back and forth from loves me to loves me not. So, save yourself the heartbreak and trust your instinct. You have an inner Alarm Bell within yourself called your Intuition and this will save you time and time again, if!!!! You listen to it. This applies to everything and not just relationship issues. Your Inner Alarm Bell goes off – Believe it. It could even save your life but going off and saying “Do not Get on that Bus”.
All the best