1. DON’T DRAG THINGS OUT!
The best thing to do when you realize once and for all that this relationship is not working out for you need to start figuring out on how you are going to speak to your current partner about a breakup. When becomes the next hot topic. In a quick answer – DO NOT WASTE YOUR PARTNER’S TIME while you figure out your life. You already have – you have figured out that this particular relationship is NOT THE ONE you are going to spend the rest of your life with. In view of that and in all fairness to the other person, the SOONER THE BETTER. DO NOT under any circumstances attempt to play the victim and make your partner wrong and attempt to push her/him into breaking up with you. That is not facing the situation on squarely and is being a coward instead. It is also selfish in the most negative form and also unnecessarily cruel. After all breakups are hard enough to deal with without a dose of cruelty coming from the Dumper – You are the Dumper as you are the one that has come to the conclusion that this relationship is not working for you or have never worked for your highest good.
This break up is about your feelings which are neither right nor wrong for that matter, they are just your feelings, so own them. This is not something that is open for debate, so don’t let yourself get talked out of them. You are entitled to your feeling just as your partner is. Deliver the news and make it about your feelings, not a deficit in the other person.
3. DON’T SAY THINGS THAT COULD BE MISUNDERSTOOD OR GIVE HER/HIM HOPE FOR SOME FUTURE.
A common thing that people tend to do is to make themselves feel better about having to break up with someone. They often do this by “saying lets still be friends.” Which is both unrealistic (at this point) and also unfair. Why? Unrealistic because that is not what the other person wants. They want a ROMANTIC relationship with you, not just friends. Also unfair because in a way that is like you are still keeping one foot in the door, just in case things go badly for you or the other relationship does not work out.
4. BE HONEST AND AT THE SAME TIME GRACIOUS
A breakup conversation is not to be used as an opportunity to make a list of everything that is wrong with your partner and the relationship. Allow this person to leave with their dignity.
5. ONCE YOU HAVE BROKEN UP, STAY AWAY.
Your now ex-partner needs to grieve the lost of this relationship and heal their life. You are NOT DOING THEM ANY FAVOURS by checking in with a phone call, SMS txt or e-mail. Just STAY AWAY and let her/him get on with their life.
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