Many times you will ask yourself what is wrong with me why can I not get this relationship right and for those who are in a relationship and it is not going well and all you want is to be happy let me explain to you how this can work and get easy for you without the hurt and pain.
Many times we forget when we first met with our love one and how much happiness this brought what happens along the way we both have expectations on how we want our partner to treat us then control comes in what we forget that there is no owner ship here. what you need to remember is everyone is an individual and so are you and the man or woman that you are with or want to be with has to keep their individuality you cannot be dependent on the person that you are with your relationship will not work you have to be in dependant . The person will love you because they choose to be with you of their own free will. And once you become needy then this person will feel that they have an anchor around there neck.
We all can have past issues that we need to deal with but remember they are past issues and when you meet the new guy this is exactly what you do not do think that they are like your past because they are not. Keep in mind you will have trigger points that you have had in the past and when your new love reminds you of something that you have been hurt in the past with something they may say or any silly thing that they do this is a trigger to be fear full that this relationship that you are in is the same as the past and you don’t realise this at the time you go in flight mode and with draw and start to sabotage your relationship you’re in by telling him or her that they have hurt you with what they have said or done and forgetting this was an emotion of the past within you.
I can understand that most people think there is not anything wrong with them and it is his or her fault or I do not know why I cannot get a relationship what is wrong with me. Then you say oh I just have not met the right one and make excuses up for yourself and not facing that the problem can be with you we often run from ourselves and time passes us by and we get older and angrier that life is not going good for me.
Look at it this way there is always room for improvement within yourself and change your mind set that I am deserving of a good relationship. I can have what I want in my current relationship but I have to love unconditional and not try to control and want this person to act and respond the way i want them freedom in a relationship is called love and trust. You will find by allowing the person to be who they are you will get on a lot better and separation will not set in.
Inner peace is priceless and this is what you work towards stress is the main cause of sickness today if you stop and think that your actions is creating havoc then you change it straight away if you are in an abusive relationship get out of it and find one that makes you happy don’t stay in the relationship in fear of being alone often people do this and waste years and are so miserable. This does not have to be you one of the books I found in my healing centre that has helped many people is by Louse Hay you can heal your life.
Another good book is the feeling good book by Dr D burns he talks about the love addiction when you read this it will help you with your relationship and you will have an understanding on why things happen and how you can avoid the problems Look it is always good to learn new things and be open minded in this life and in any situation have been a counsellor for many years and helped many people to stay together I can help you. Contact me with any concern I am here to help you
Much love Ann