Now how do we detect a time waster in love? This is a very popular question and often one of the most important things we need to know in life. Often times one can spend many months or years with what I would call a ‘time waster’ waiting for that change, that change that never seems to come. Now I will begin this article with a story of a close friend by the name of Ana.
Ana a beautiful soul and a very close friend of mine for many years she was in love with a man who cared for her but never truly gave her the attention and effort that she deserved, they dated for a year he was always hot and cold never sure but some days so what seemed to be in love that she was just head over heals, other moments he would shy away and create space for 23 weeks and she would hear nothing, At the 1 year mark her stress levels started to rise and she confided in me as a friend but also a spiritual counselor. I told my dear friend that I could see he cared for her, he loved her, but there were some areas within himself that were creating blocks and not allowing him to truly give in and give complete effort and commitment. I could see that it would be another 6 months before he would start to even change within as a person, and that at that point it would only be slow progress, I had to be honest with my dear friend as I am known for my honesty and very straight up yet compassionate ways. I told her this ‘Your heart is big my darling, you give so much to those who give so little back, now ask yourself this, is this the way you are okay with feeling for the next 6 months, year or even longer, feeling unappreciated and as though you are not quite good enough? Her answer, I love him. I dont know what to do. I feel he will never change.
You need to remind yourself one thing my darling friend, You need to remember first and foremost what you want out of life. What the top five things are you want in a relationship and lover and what makes you happy. This man my darling is not the only man in the world, and based on his efforts towards you he is what I call a Time waster, someone no prepared to put the effort in, not ready, but continues to take you along the ride as they are afraid to let you go yet they know they cant give you what you truly seek, this life in this world is not that long and a time waster as far as I am concerned dear friend is someone you can get over and move on from.
I told my dear friend Ana that if she for once listens to her gut feeling, her soul, her instinct her chi rather than her mind that continues to tick over with conflicting thoughts then she will walk to the right path ahead, it is called subconscious awareness and to have this in confusing times when a decision needs to be made is the wisest thing a human being can do. I told my dear friend Ana that she must give him 1 more month to put effort in so he has a chance to do the right thing, she did so, he got very close to her for a few days, but then again pulled back no contact and very little expression towards how he felt when she opened her heart to him.
The facts are this. If a man is not willing to put the effort in and claim you as the pot of the gold you truly are, then he is not a man worthy of your presence your love. 1 Year is a long time to date and continue to be unsure, this man is wasting your precious time my dear friend Ana, you will be able to live, to find real love and connections with a new man if you are to let him go and the moment you let go of this not so perfect man who is not delivering the affection, time and
effort you deserve is the moment the window of your soul will open and allow someone perfectly suited to align on your life path and start coming your way, it is the power of making a focused subconscious decision. I could see if Ana let go of this man she had been dating a new man would come and this man I could see his heart of gold, his similarities to Ana, his sense of
humor and how happy he could make her.
My dear friend Ana stuck to this man for another 6 months, she held in there as she did care for him, no movement, no further effort just dear Ana waiting and waiting for him to take another step to make things official to do more. Nothing. Ana at that mark of 6 months made the decision to move on, it was not easy it was one of the hardest decisions she had made but she did it, she stuck to her decision and could not be happier today.
Three months later Ana met the love of her life, a man that has made her happy beyond imagination. They married, had 4 beautiful children and 30 years later today live in abundance of joy just because Ana listened to that little feeling inside that feeling that pulled and pushed her on to the right path when she gave it a chance. A decision Ana will never regret.
The moral of this story of my dearest friend Ana is to not spend your lifetime waiting for someone who is not willing to put the effort in that you deserve, give them a decent amount of time, but one year this is a long time and most people that are meant to be will be ready before this timeline mark. They may be ready one day yes but the wasted time is time you shall never get back precious time you could have spent in greatest happiness. Always follow your intuition, your heart is important too of course, but intuition is connected to the hearts true desires and energy it knows what is ultimately best for you, listening to that intuition is the way to listen to your heart.
I hope you now know if you are in a similar situation that perhaps its time to move on, if you woudl like to know if you are with a ‘time waster’ or the real deal then I am happy to hear your story and answer those questions close to your heart,
I look forward to reading for you soon, All my love and light 🙂