1. Write down the top three things you love about yourself. For example, I like my eyes or I like the fact that I have a big heart. Nobody has to see this list so you don’t have to feel shy in front of yourself—flaunt it if you got it! Look at it often throughout the day.
2. Do something that you’ve been saying that you were going to do for the past six months. You know what it is. Do it right now and come back to the rest of this list later! Ok, now write down when you completed this task. Keep a record of your “See I knew I could do it” list and put it with your “These are the things I love about myself” list. Read it often.
3. Remember this: Confidence does not mean being loud. Confidence does not mean being the life of the party. We all have a personalized type of confidence that manifests itself in different forms. For example, I have a Quiet Confidence (QC). I am generally quiet with a soft voice and my demeanor is calm and soothing. The energy behind my voice and what I say is in no way wishy washy. I have power in my delivery that does not equate to volume. The next time someone tries to tell you that you are too quiet or you need to act more “confident” (i.e. hyped up) this is what you can say to them: “Thank you for your suggestion but I have more than enough confidence. My inner assuredness brings forth a message loud and clear—even when I whisper.”
4. Confidence comes from connecting to our deep inner core—our True Self. When we become disconnected with this part of ourselves we feel uncertain. A quick way to remedy this is to go within. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Ask your True Self to make an appearance to you. Tell your core that you are open to forming this relationship again and that you are ready for this wonderful journey of self-discovery. Then take time throughout the next few hours, days and weeks to notice what you feel like. Do you get any insights? Are you getting ideas that seem to pop into your awareness out of nowhere? That is your True Self arriving in all its glory-congratulations!
5. Ask your closest friends and family members to tell you all the things they love about you. Tell them that you are working on your confidence and you could use their help. If you don’t know anyone who you feel comfortable asking then I will tell you right now: You are amazing! You are taking action to make yourself feel better by searching for support. You are a go-getter who cares enough about yourself to make wonderful lasting change. That takes a special kind of person and I believe in you 100%. Now take this new list called “all the great things people say about me” and put it with list #1 & #2.
Bonus! An excerpt from my latest poem May 2015
The Plea and the Response
I love you for wanting. For needing. For despairing. For grasping. For struggling. For reaching. For yearning.
I don’t hold this against you. I hold you against me. I wrap my arms around you and stoke the flames of your raging bonfire. I love you.