By Annelize: “As empaths, we are not here to be sponges or enablers. We are here to be helpers, guides, and supporters.” ― Aletheia Luna
Aren’t we all supposed to be this? Aren’t we all supposed to help, guide and support each other? I could tell you that being an empath, can be described as the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation, according to the Cambridge Dictionary. Isn’t this what life’s supposed to be, that we all connect with each other, have empathy and understanding? Why do we want to create a certain group of elite people that are different when we are all supposed to be living with these qualities? It is here inside us all, it is just that some discovered it, and others not yet, and others never do, but it is there.
I was also labeling myself as an empath, due to the fact of having these intense experiences of emotions. And in the spirituality field to be able to give yourself some sort of label, makes you more spiritual, or so we think. I have learned that we are all supposed to have spiritual abilities, so I am nothing more than another as we are all one and created from the One. I will be sharing lessons I learned while having the ability to experience deep emotions and sensitive feelings, with this I include every person alive, to share in these experiences so we as a human race can connect in oneness and empathy.
I have learned that not only do I overshare my heart and emotions, I really try my best and believe that others can also sense the emotions linked to my message. I thought that everyone experiences feelings the same. We are all unique, we all differ and that is rightly so. I had to learn that some things just don’t need to be shared, but since I felt I was keeping something, hiding it, I use to find myself oversharing repeatedly. After sharing I felt why did I do that, why did I even share this, because in a way I was being vulnerable, feeling exposed, and the other person is just not getting it? We need to have healthy boundaries in place that will assist us in not oversharing.
Another great lesson was that I need to allow others the space to be sad, to be unhappy, to even be depressed and yes, even suicidal. With this I just want to make it straight I would never allow anyone to commit suicide, but what I am trying to convey is that I cannot take away or change that person’s mind or emotions. I can be there as a support, I can be a listening ear, I could give them professional support, but I cannot rescue them. I cannot take away their depression, their suicidal thoughts, their pain or sadness. I would rather try my best to take it away, to do anything in my means, to create a different setting so that they do not feel that way. I would do anything for them just to feel better. We can never take things away from someone that they need to learn, we can only be there with them, supporting them, even though we may feel we are dying with them, it is their road to walk, not ours. We need to know that we each have a path to take, lessons to learn.
I need to allow others space to do what they want. Many times, I try to incorporate everyone in my plans, when most of the time they do not want to be included. I would rather want everyone participating than one person being alone. I had to learn that each person has their own space, and when they want to be included, they will let me know. We need to give others space to say yes or no in freedom.
Allowing others to feel alone, to be sad, that those feelings are ok, that everyone does not need to be happy all the time. I want everyone around me to be happy, because then I feel that I am living to the fullest, I am doing what I am supposed to do. But that is a lie. I am not responsible for another person’s happiness. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. I had to accept that it is OK for others to be sad. The most important lesson to learn is that we are not responsible for other people’s happiness.
What is mine, what is not mine? Anxiety, anger, aggression, worry, sadness. So many times, emotions start erupting just out of the blue, suddenly I will feel sad, or suddenly I am angered. I was judging, blaming and feeling a great deal of shame about these sudden changes in how I felt. Only when I realized that I was feeling deep emotions of other people, could I start to become free of the self-judging thoughts. I had to learn, is this emotion mine, or is it from someone else. It Is not always easy to know, and some days if I am not in touch with my inner self, I can easily get hooked up in an emotion that is not mine. It was hard for me in the beginning, but I did not know the truth. It does not need to be a burden or a cross to bear. We all need to be able to define where we begin, and where we end.
Staying grounded. This is the biggest help or treasure for people experience highly sensitive emotions. What does it mean? It means to feel stable, firm and rooted, that regardless of what happens on the outside world, on the inside I feel safe, secure, balance and present. There are many exercises on the internet available on how to get grounded, the best for me is going outside on bare feet, touching the earth, the ground, the grass. Just connecting to nature, brings me back to being grounded. Another method is to just quickly check back into where am I now, what can I see, feel, taste, hear. It immediately brings me back to the present moment. We all need to stay grounded; we need to detach from all the information, all the overload we get each day via the media, digitally and all around us. We need to get back to our origins, to stay balanced and stable.
We have forgotten our connection to life, we have forgotten that we all are spiritual. I want to encourage you to make time to get grounded, get in touch with your emotions, you are the whole fullness that will ever be in you. Nothing outside you is ever needed. If we could just realize that we already have all we need, we just need to take time to develop, or allow it space in our busy lives. So next time someone calls themselves an Empath, don’t feel that you are less than them, see yourself as an equal seeker to all life has to offer, you have another gift they don’t have. Just see them as a fellow traveler on the journey called life.
Feel free to connect with me, so we can both share this journey together!
Love and Light,