By Isabella: I just celebrated my 67th birthday and often when I speak with many of you young, impetuous souls, I am reminded how fast it goes by and how much time I wasted on men and women who were unworthy. Jesus once said, “Do not cast your pearls at swine.” Modern translation is: to give or offer something valuable to someone who does not understand its value. And YOU have value. YOU are a gift to life and when you truly begin to understand how valuable your gifts, your love, your unique spirit is, you finally understand relationships and friendships.
Friends will come and go, let them. Don’t fight the inevitable when a friendship has run its course. When a relationship is over, really over, cry for a short time then move on or you might miss the next or final great love of your life. I am a firm believer in “what’s meant to be WILL BE, no matter what you do.” So when your relationship ends, don’t connive, cajole or plead. Walk away with your dignity and self-respect knowing something better comes. Pain and heartache are a byproduct of loss but truly no one ever loses anything. THAT WHICH IS MEANT TO BE WILL BE. It’s not a rejection, you’re not being rejected nor are you rejecting anyone…you are simply being redirected to something more fruitful.
When you learn that valuable lesson, the pain subsides a lot quicker and you avoid months of crying, pining, settling and setting trauma deeper into your spirit. There is great liberation in letting go unless you are desperate to be loved, then it’s not a boyfriend or girlfriend you need, but counseling and therapy.
You have to trust the path your soul designed for itself before you ever came to earth. You chose what lessons you wanted to learn, what negative and positive karma you wanted to heal or engage; you chose your family and you know at the core of your being ultimately who you will be permanently partnered with. We recognize each other. I met and married my husband in 3 weeks. It was instant knowing. I was younger then and practical, was not impetuous, but there was a “knowing” an intuitive sense, he was the one. 32 years later we are still best friends, which is what most of you don’t realize is the foundation to a good marriage or relationship. You have to like each other before you love each other.
Too many cling to the familiar because they may not feel worthy of healthy love, or may just be more comfortable with the known than the unknown. In other words, you settle. Settling is good enough for some while others who have discovered self-worth, self-respect and self-love, will never settle. They know they can find the one they are meant to be with at their core and trust in the process and their own intuition to lead them to that very soul. If you are still holding on to an old love while looking around for a new one, you are actually blocking the one you are meant to find. You have to let go and release the old for the new to find you. You have to heal the hurt, make sure you eliminate resentment or harboring ill will toward your former partner, then get busy living and STOP looking for crying out loud. It’s like watching a pot of water boil it takes forever if you stand over the stove and watch it. God/the universe/your angels and guides all know your heart and the desires of your heart.
Take the time in between to work on yourself. Going from one lover to another with no space in between not only speaks volumes psychologically, it tells others how emotionally unhealthy you really are. If you are needy, clingy and desperate to find a mate, you may want to wait until you address all that baggage, because you will literally lay that at the feet of whoever comes along. A relationship built on dysfunction will become just that, dysfunctional. When you are emotionally healthy, you attract those who are also emotionally healthy. It’s so important to see yourself as you really are because you are the reflection and the mirror and will attract to you an exact mirrored image. If you have cheated or fear being cheated on, you will attract a cheater; it you have anger issues, abandonment issues, addiction or any other predominant issue, you will draw the same type of person to you. Healing yourself is so liberating. Being comfortable with who you are, just as you are and improving on that, is the path to love and being loved.
Take time to learn yourself before giving yourself to anyone; most of the time you will realize that only a few are worthy of your unique spirit, your amazing gifts and all the love you have to give.
With love beyond limitation,
Isabella
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