{"id":1766,"date":"2016-10-19T01:40:00","date_gmt":"2016-10-19T01:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifereader.co.uk\/articles\/?p=1766"},"modified":"2016-10-20T03:19:25","modified_gmt":"2016-10-20T03:19:25","slug":"are-you-ready-for-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifereader.co.uk\/articles\/are-you-ready-for-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Ready For Marriage?"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Esther<\/strong>:<\/a><\/em><\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/em><\/span>Is getting married right for you?\u00a0 Some questions to consider before you even consider walk down the aisle?<\/p>\n

Why are you getting married? Be honest and evaluate the reasons behind your engagement and make sure you are not thinking of getting married just because your friends are.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0a. If you have to talk yourself into marriage \u2014 don’t.\u00a0 \u00a0If you have to talk your fianc\u00e9 into getting marriage, that is not a good sign.\u00a0 \u00a0Make sure you are not getting married to escape or avoid something.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 b. If you get nauseous at the thought of shopping for a wedding dress or seem to be sick every time you have to meet the caterer, listen to your body it is screaming at your \u2013 NO this is NOT THE ONE.<\/p>\n

\"esther3\"<\/a>2. How have they behaved with you? The most important evaluating point.\u00a0 If he\/she treats you badly now, it will only get worse after you get married.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 a. Look closely at your partner’s parents \u2014 children learn what they live. The environments they grew up in are most likely what they expect to live in their adulthood.\u00a0 A person\u2019s parents are their template of what a marriage should look like and keep in mind that old saying \u201cThe apple does not fall too far from the tree.\u201d<\/p>\n

3. Have you planned a marriage \u2014 or just a wedding? \u00a0Meaning planning the Cake, flowers and fine china are all exciting, but there’s more at stake than one day.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0a. Your wedding is a day; a marriage is a lifetime. \u00a0You don’t just want to be married; you want to be happily married.\u00a0 \u00a0Think in terms of the next 30 years.\u00a0 Put at least the same amount of time and effort that you are using to plan your wedding into planning your marriage.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 b. Develop an emotional prenuptial agreement with your partner, outlining how you’ll handle your careers, disciplining children, money, division of labor, in-laws, geography, etc. \u00a0If you don’t plan for and discuss these topics, the chance of you be able to successfully merge two lives together becomes very slim.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 c. Ensure that you have cover non-negotiable issues as in \u201care we having children?\u201d Surprised that I should say this \u2013 not everybody wants children \u2013 society wishes us to pro-create but not every individual is physical able to or emotionally wishes to.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Religion \u2013 Yes a biggie \u2013 can you cope with an Inter-Religion Marriage and allow your partner to fellow their own spirituality without expecting her\/him to change religion.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You should accept your partner for who he\/she is right now without change.<\/p>\n

4. Express your needs and expectations now \u2014 not when you’re already in the marriage. What are your absolute deal breakers?\u00a0 Do you know your partner’s? They have to be your deal breakers as it is so different from person to person.\u00a0 Not what your family thinks or your friends.<\/p>\n

5. Forget whether you’re right or wrong. \u00a0The question is:\u00a0 Is what you’re doing working or not working for both of you as a couple?\u00a0 \u00a0Forget your parents and community expectations of what is right in a marriage.\u00a0 It needs to be right FOR BOTH OF YOU \u2013 NOT JUST ONE OF YOU.<\/p>\n

6. Falling in love is not the same thing as being in love. \u00a0Embrace the change and know that it takes work. \u00a0There is an old Hindu saying \u201cTrue love begins after marriage\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Why is this because dating and even living together is not the same thing as the legal commitment of marriage.<\/p>\n

7. Roles in Marriage. Did your husband’s mother take such good care of him growing up that now he doesn’t know how to do anything for himself?\u00a0 \u00a0If the division of labor in your relationship isn’t working. \u00a0\u00a0 Instead of just complaining, be specific about what it is that you want.<\/p>\n

8. Every relationship is negotiated, and needs to be continually negotiated.\u00a0 \u00a0Even if you’ve done things one way for 20 years, it’s not too late to find a new way to share responsibilities.\u00a0 \u00a0Find a division of labor that both of you can live with.\u00a0 Come up with new definitions for your relationship.<\/p>\n

9. Work on things during times of peace. \u00a0In the heat of an argument is no time to come up with solutions that will work for both of you. \u00a0\u00a0Don’t expect things to change without working on changing them.<\/p>\n

10. Try to see things through your partner’s eyes. You need not necessarily switch roles completely, but you do need to understand what your spouse is saying.<\/p>\n

11. For men only – Remember that your wife is your partner, not your mother. Don’t expect her to clean up after you and cut your meat for you.\u00a0 Perhaps your mother did that when you were a child, but you’re now in a partnership.<\/p>\n

12. For ladies only \u2013 Remember if you chose to mother your husband you will smother the romance in your marriage \u2013 look closely at that word \u2013 it is just mother with S in front.<\/p>\n

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