>Share this Article on Facebook<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\nRelationships end for numerous reasons, too many to list, yet there are some key points that they evolve from:
\n–\tLack of Communication
\n–\tLack of Passion, Care & Interest
\n–\tBeing Stuck in Routine<\/p>\n
We all have a responsibility in relationship, to take care of ourselves. When we start to rely on the other person to make us happy, we fall into ruts and routines and \u2018wait for the other person\u2019 to make us happy. When we do this, we create an unbalanced relationship, where one person is always giving, never receiving and arguments usually stem from this place. When we rely on the other person to meet needs of our happiness, when those needs and unspoken expectations don\u2019t happen, we feel let down, abandoned, left alone and usually an argument of some sort is born. <\/p>\n
Usually we repeat this cycle over and over until someone decides to leave the relationship. This can come unexpectedly and creates a huge shock wave through our life, when we realise how much we deeply loved them and still do! \u201cI want them back!! How can this possibly be!!\u201d<\/p>\n
It is important to understand that in any relationship break up, there is a 4 stage grieving process that can make us do things we don\u2019t usually do. It is really important to honour this grieving process. This 4 stages, looks something like this: <\/p>\n
1 – Shock and Denial: the rug has deeply been pulled out from your feet, your world has turned upside down, feels like a knife has cut through your heart, you still blame the other person (finding all the faults\/arguing), you are in a lot of fear (trying to hold onto memories to get them back, sending \u2018happy\u2019 photos or good times you had), <\/p>\n
2 \u2013 Anger: This is where you can be very angry, at yourself, at them, at your work, your neighbour, everyone has contributed somehow to this break up, you can be in a lot of anxiety, you may go out on dates or join a dating site with other people to \u2018get back at your ex\u2019, or to show them you are still worthy and that \u2018look you are going to lose me\u2019, or to try and win them back through kind gestures. Once you see that isn\u2019t working or doing anything to your ex, from here you can drop into a deep sadness, a deep depression. <\/p>\n
3 \u2013 Depression: Nothing has meaning anymore, what is the point of your life without them in it, all your dreams, hopes and futures had them in it and now they are gone, crying deeply is very healing here, you can also have no energy or motivation for your daily life, everything is \u2018too hard\u2019<\/p>\n
4- Return to Life: Here, you start to come out of your hole, your cocoon, you start reaching out to other people for help, to share your story and give hope to others. You start to find yourself again and realise you can live life, you can continue, you have a new plan in place and you are living again \u2013 with happiness, you have YOU back, and YOU can do and have anything in the world you want. <\/p>\n
This 4 stage process, is crucial to healing and is a very normal process to go through when your ex leaves you! It is also important to remember \u2013 it can take a lot of time to heal through this! You may also jump to stages as well, and go back and forth between them. <\/p>\n
So, how do I get my ex back? Find YOU! Find yourself again. Usually when a relationship ends, you have lost yourself, your happiness, your life. When you start focusing on you and your life, you bring zest and aliveness back into you and if you remember back to when you met them \u2013 you were probably at your best right? So, you want to find your best again \u2013 find that happy YOU. What hobbys do you enjoy? Go do them! Do you have friends that you can go and have a lunch date with? No? Well, there are plenty of meet up groups you can source online in your local area to make new friends. How is your health? Do you need to join a local gym? Go for nature walks? What health routines do you have for yourself?<\/p>\n